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Gift-giving, traffic, and crowds top this year's poll of holiday stressors. Fortunately for you, this whole thing's a non-issue thanks to today's list of the...Top 5 Ways to Avoid Holiday Stress.
- Temper your kids' expectations for tons of gifts by telling them Santa died of COVID.
- Get everyone high before Thanksgiving dinner. That way, they'll eat anything!
- Only decorate the section of your tree that shows from the front window.
- Cut down on the time you spend wrapping gifts by only giving gifts to the blind.
- Skip the Thanksgiving decorations. Nobody cares about your dumb turkey flag.
- Only buy gifts for your favorite child. It will cut down on shopping AND teach the others if they want anything next year, they'll have to step it up.
- Instead of agonizing over the perfect gift, give your spouse what they really want: space.
- Cut down on travel by only visiting seriously ill relatives who are finalizing their wills.
- Don't overextend yourself. Remember, the point of Christmas isn't to make everyone happy...it's to make people who don't celebrate it really uncomfortable.